Post

My wish came true and is now making wishes of her own.

Leave a reply

My wish came true and is now making wishes of her own.

They removed one of my ovaries, diagnosed me with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and told me it might be hard to have babies, I was 19.

I grew up the eldest of 6 children, I grew up being a “second mum” and a big part of me grew to resent that. It wasn’t my choice to have that many children but I didn’t have a choice in helping to raise them. I don’t mean that as harshly as it probably comes across, I love my younger siblings so much and I loved our childhood, we were very lucky to have the childhood that we had but there was that one side that resented the responsibility that I felt was placed upon me. As a result I had never been all that fussed about having kids, in fact I had stated multiple times I didn’t want them. That was a choice I had made at the time, but that all changed as soon as it seemed I didn’t have a choice at all.

I went from not wanting children, to desperately wanting a child. Suddenly I had a very different perspective on what it meant to have a child and an appreciation for what an amazing experience that is (another post for another time).

I tried, hoped, prayed and wished for a child and after a year that wish came true.

This is Isabella (Izzy) and she is five. The other day she said to me “I wished to be here mum, before I was alive, when I was nothing out in the darkness, I wished to be in your tummy and it happened”. It is mind blowing to look at her growing, hearing the amazing things she says (and the horrible things too), watching her play, learn and make a mess wherever she goes and realise that she came from me. My wish came true and is now making wishes of her own.

I’m still not convinced that I’m meant to be a mum but I am so glad and grateful that I am.

Advertisements
Post

Dear WordPress

6 comments

How are you? I’m Elle and I’m new here.

I have come from Tumblr, where for the last three years I have made a lot of friends, recorded the messy bits and pieces of my life, liked 26026 posts, scrolled through a lot of porn and started collecting gifs for all occasions (there really are gifs for ALL occasions and the fact I can iMessage them to people makes me so happy, probably happier than it should). It’s become too comfortable though, I’m not writing as much as I would like, I’m hiding behind the content of others instead of creating and sharing my own and I wanted a change, to add something new to the mix, so here I am.

I feel like a complete newbie right now, not really knowing where or how to start but eager to start regardless. So I guess I should tell you a little more about myself.. I love the colour green, I get lost easily, I have big feet, I paint, photograph, draw, build, write, sew, dye, fold, design; creating is what makes me happy. I get anxious, I think a lot, I’m currently wearing a dress with robots on it, I’m indecisive, I have reading glasses and lose them constantly, I love to love, I often get tears in my eyes when I laugh which confuses people that aren’t aware of this fact, I am allergic to shellfish and I love the smell of coconut. There is a bit more to me than that, but that will do for now.

Thanks for having me, I look forward to getting to know you (and the people who use you) better!

Love Elle xx

P.S If anyone reads this, don’t be afraid to say hi 🙂