I honestly felt that I would, not because of the 39 degree fever I had on the day as I came down with the flu, but because I felt like turning 30 meant my life was over.
As a 29 year old I I went ten pin bowling for the first time, hung out on Tumblr more than I studied.. or slept, hooked up with a 19 year old who’s name I didn’t know until he was in my bedroom, I watched four seasons of The Vampire Diaries, got pimples on my face, realised I was doing my Psychology double major for all the wrong reasons and still don’t really know what I want to do with my life, played in the rain, babysat the toddlers for my mum, spent days in bed because of anxiety and ate a lot of chocolate. I didn’t once feel like I was at the end of my twenties, more like I was just starting them.
I was worried I could no longer be me at 30. I thought 30 meant having to know what you were doing in life and be in the process of doing it. I thought 30 meant being settled. I thought 30 meant being a “grown up” and all the people I consider “grown ups” in my life are nothing like me and living lives nothing like mine.
Since turning 30 I have found that life is EXACTLY THE SAME as it was before. It’s a Thursday afternoon and I’m in bed with seven tabs open, about to watch Archer and I still have no real idea about what I’m doing with my life. I turned 30 messing around with a younger guy, the other day I filled with child like excitement as I spent an hour in the water with 5 dolphins, I have played in a playground, eaten a new flavour of ice-cream (apple pie!!..amazing), holidayed with my family where I sat in the back as they drove us about, dad still had to cast out my fishing line and I still collected “treasures” that are now still sitting in the bottom of my bag. Nothing much has changed except how I feel about being 30. I feel content. My birthday has reminded me that 30 can be whatever I want it to be, the same way life can! Yes, time is always ticking but at least now I’ve realised I can spend that time being me. 30 has been a reminder that ageing is a privilege, I’m so grateful for all of it.
The day itself 29-12-2013!
I wore a another new dress from asos that I absolutely LOVE! Izzy and I went out for a pancake breakfast near the water. She gave me the cutest card and gifts! I then got so spoilt by my family and had a family lunch. Justin gave me a plane ticket to MELBOURNE!!! Eeeek! and then by tea time the flu had taken hold and I was in bed! It was a big, big beautiful day.